I’ve written and unwritten this post what seems like a thousand times, and have finally come to the conclusion that there are just not words sufficient enough to convey the feelings in my heart. Every time I try, I am overcome with tears, with joy, with gratitude.
Over the last four and a half months, I have been brought to my knees with yearning. I have been brought to my knees with fear. I’ve been brought to my knees over and over again with thankfulness and belief. I’ve prayed for miracles, for strength, for hope and understanding.
I am overjoyed to announce that early in February 2018, Lincoln will get to stop kissing my belly and start kissing his baby brother or sister!
We are now nearly halfway through this pregnancy, and yet I’ve waited to share. In my mind, I think I was waiting for the perfect time. A time when I could feel some sort of reassurance that ‘everything would be okay.’ Or a time when I would be able to go more than a few hours without worry in my heart.
What I realize now is that for someone like me, someone who has experienced ongoing pregnancy loss, an expectation to experience those things may be unrealistic. What is more important is that I learn to focus on celebrating and enjoying the gift that each moment is. And right now, in this moment, I am a mother of two! I am done suppressing my joy out of fear, and I’m done waiting for meaningless affirmation. It’s time to celebrate this miracle growing within me, and to invite all of you to celebrate with us!
This sweet baby is already so very loved and cherished.